I have not stepped foot on the ground of my clinic at the rehab for forty days – the duration of Noah’s flood. Little did I know, when I last locked my door a month ago, that I would not be coming back to see my patients, run my groups, talk to the staff, my colleagues. The world is seriously upside down.
This is a remarkably complicated time psychologically. It’s not just a medical and financial trap. It’s an existential challenge and has the potential to severely damage the global psyche. I fret a lot trying to envision how emotionally compromised people are coping with the isolation. I’m so worried about people living in close quarters with, for example, a person with anger management problems; I’ve heard some statistics about a rise in domestic abuse. Heaven forbid I even imagine how suicidal people are coping during these hard times in solitary.
I am also disturbed by the vast disinformation that I see passed around, the emails and WhatsApp messages I receive filled with conspiracy theories and cheap philosophical justifications for this global punishment. There are many people out there who are always looking for the right spot to lay the blame. It makes them feel smart because they “figured it out” or provides some kind of stress reduction because there’s some logic behind the otherwise random travesty. But it makes me sick when I see speculation that the numbers have been completely exaggerated. It’s a slap in the face to all the innocent people who are struggling and suffering.
Trust me when I say, I do understand that this is emotionally rigorous and has the potential to really drive us nuts. I am finding it very trying to see no one but my husband face to face. I define myself as a caregiver; my life has meaning when I’m serving humanity and hoisting people’s spirits. Without that option, I am at a loss.
Thank God, people are reaching out to me via email, telephone, and Zoom. They trust me to say the right thing that will help put this big mess in perspective. I also have regular Zoom sessions with Shani, my beloved writing coach, editor, assistant, and stenographer, and with family and friends from near and far.
I did and still do think something big spiritually is just around the corner. It can’t be a coincidence that in the month of April, the Jews, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, and Hindus all have major holidays. How could that be ignored? How could that just be existential happenstance? I won’t buy it. I refuse to.
I wrote a book I’m sending out soon to the universe. You’ll be hearing more about it in the weeks to come.